Tuesday, 15 April 2014
Bless the Poperty Brothers
Farida JonesBarely getting through another episode of Canada's Property Brothers. My eight year old daughter is a big fan but I hope against hope that she does not adopt the attitudes of the whiny demanding buyers portrayed as house hunters in the show. This episode featured a ditzy blonde with fully bleached hair and matching teeth, fun flirty outfits changed for each viewing like it is a Cher concert and an accessory partner/husband who appears oddly tattooed and pierced wearing what appears to be my granddads undershirt and plaid pants and who blurts out things like " This whole demo thing is like Totally intense". You get the picture. So here's the premise of the show in case you've never watched. The Real Estate Bro takes a couple through three sub- standard homes- priced below the buyer's budget and gets a negative reaction. Some notable comments; " oh my God, that is so totally disgusting I can't even go in there" or "I wouldn't want my food to get anywhere near that counter- its so grodie" yes, she said grodie. Or "The yard is like totally unruly...like a jungle". It appears the buyers idea of a first time home is based on Prince Charles and Camilla's' Royal Apartments Revealed. After the shock value of presenting the pampered Yuppie larvae with how the other half live, he then he takes them through a home that completely surpasses their expectations wowing them into euphoric expectation. Moments later, he cruelly dashes their hopes by revealing the price to be double their budget. So harsh, Real Estate Bro! The emotional rollercoaster jerks over the rise once again when Contractor/ Designer Bro sweeps in with his lap top and introduces them to this thing called an imagination via his virtual designer program. Hence, all is not lost. Now, without any real work, the brothers will magically transform the "scary" house they settle on into a fabulous designer den that will be the envy of all their friends. Did I say without any work? Well, that's not really true. I forgot...the potential buyers show up at the house for the demo- usually wearing awesome outfits which in this episode included fishnet tights and weird booties...and that was the guy. I thought the WSIB should have been called because the 10lb sledge hammer weighed more than the guy or gal wielding it. Can you say momentum? Suffice to say, the kitchen did not get the demo job it deserved. So in the end after lots of ewwww grosses, the big reveal happens with the requisite Oh-my-God-I can't-believe-its and they live happily ever after. What ever happened to the enchanted wonderment of first time buyers who were content to just own a piece of real estate and fix it over time?